Blindfolded

Wrote this piece to get something off my chest about an important relationship, or lack thereof, in my life. This is my therapy...

Blindfolded, gagged and bound
Dazed, confused, and lost
Held captive in this hallow place
No escape route or savior in sight.
Not sure what got me here.
Not moving because of my fear.

Sitting here scared and bewildered
I question how I let this happen.
To let my captor come in,
To trust so easily and let down my guard.
I put up no fight,
Assuming that this familiar face would do me right.

Always present,
Feeding me lies masked as promises.
Desperate for this love,
Life continues as if on repeat.
Now my hopelessness is buried deep inside,
Surface level, tough exterior to mask my pride.

On the interior I cry out for your attention.
Puzzled how you cannot hear nor understand.
Someone that deserves your undivided observation,
But one minute from you is hard to obtain.
So further and further this wall I built,
Not one bit of hesitation, not one ounce of guilt.

Content I became with the decisions I made.
Feeling as though I had some control.
Moments passed by when weakness crept in.
Quickly I shook them off and my façade I regained.
Comfort and notions of acceptance,
A lifestyle that I believe I deserved as penance.

So when my captor showed up at my door,
For a moment I forgot what I had built so high.
Thinking that this was the moment of true redemption.
That I would gain what I desired and justly deserved.
But my hopes were dashed as I was taken captive,
Dreams destroyed and a future that looks negative.

In that weak moment, my captor got the best of me.
By the time I tried to fight back, I had no handle.
My grip had slipped and I was overpowered.
Taken down and knocked out from the fall,
I lay there lifeless, ready to give in;
Everything goes dark and the torture begins.

Maybe this is what I am worthy of.
My justice or someone’s warranted revenge.
While my initial reaction is to struggle and react,
Part of me wonders what’s the point?
This is a place that, in a way, seems like common ground,
And I feel that this trip is not my final round.

Blindfolded, gagged and bound
Dazed, confused, and lost
Held captive in this hallow place
No escape route or savior in sight.
Not sure what got me here.
Not moving because of my fear.