Cuz, She's a Star!

Fulfilling a dream is…tiring.  It’s like wrestling with a bear.  You’re tangled, trying to get a good grasp, trying to get on top, and you finally pin it down.  You win.  You’ve conquered it, but you are pooped!

I’ve been wrestling with a bear for the past six years!

Being a business owner…being a woman…being a woman business owner…

Tiring.

It isn’t easy, not always fun, can be a bit lonely, make you question your intelligence, and beat you up mentally.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Sounds cliché.  Yes, I know.  But I’m chasing after something I’m passionate about.  I’m chasing after something that makes me happy.  I’m chasing after something that gives me joy to do, even in the hard moments.  That’s more than a lot of people can say.  Many don’t know what their passionate about…what makes them tick…what gives them butterflies in their stomach.  Many don’t know their purpose.  And I don’t say that to put anyone down.  Everyone’s path is different.  Some may never find it.  Some may take a little bit longer than others.  I’m just grateful that I’m among the chosen few that know what it is now and am doing something about it.

As I said earlier, being a business owner isn’t easy.  There are times that I just want to give up!  Like, when it’s tax season and I have to account for every minute detail over the last year.  Even this OCD girl has her head spin at the very notion of filing taxes.  

Thank God for mom (she’s a bookkeeper and helps me with them every year)!  

Or when I have to figure out how I’m going to fund the many, many projects that I have floating around in my “this is a great idea” folder that lives in my head…and on my jump drive...and on post-its...and my journal...and scraps of paper at the bottom of my bag...

I’m faced with the question, “How do I get others excited about what I’m doing?  How do I win their buy-in?” 

Thing about this business, it’s a lot about who you know…not what.  I just need to get in front of the right people because then, they’ll see my passion. 

Doesn’t always work that way.

Try a different approach.

So, I go back to the drawing board with my team…oh, my team!  My amazing, talented, full of black girl magic team!

They are my rock and foundation (outside of Christ, of course!). 

They tell me when I’m being silly, unrealistic, too optimistic (which is rare), when I should scale back, push my boundaries…they give me balance.  I couldn’t do it without them.  No one can do it all without a village behind them (thanks Shonda for that…everyone needs a village!).

I have called them to cry, to say, “I can’t do this.”  I have passed things off to them…I have taken things from them.  They see MaineDrama with me…they see the beauty…I’ve got their buy-in.  How?

Time.

It all takes time…and I am an impatient woman.  But I see the worth in MDP.  She’s my baby.  My six year old baby.  My demanding, spoiled, very particular baby.  I’m a proud mama who thinks her kid is a star…even if you don’t.  I’m standing up, front row-center, clapping my hands off at her stellar performance (cuz, in my head it was a stellar performance and if you tried to argue with me and tell me otherwise, you might get the hands). 

But, I’m programmed to see her beauty instantaneously…with you, it may take time.  But, at least you’re taking notice.

She’s amazing…and she’ll continue to do great things because I’m part of her village.  I’m the freaking ring leader!

Everyone needs that.

Black Women...Producers...Directors...an Anomaly?

Hey you. Yes you, reading this (thanks for that btw). I have a question for you. Ready? Can you do me a favor and name three Black female directors/producers that are NOT named Oprah, Ava, or Shonda? ...Have some answers for me yet? You didn't Google it did you? If you did, no judgement. Want to know why I won't judge you? Perhaps you can't think of names off the top of your head because Black women are still fighting for opportunities. Perhaps you can't think of Black female directors and producers as easily because they are working in an industry that is dominated by White men. And perhaps there are plenty of Black female producers and directors that are quite talented and do amazing work, but you just don't know of them because they don't receive as much recognition as others.

Deadline recently published an article stating that the The Academy Awards show that aired on February 28th experienced an eight year low in ratings. I will be honest and I say I may have contributed to that. I did not watch. I didn't initially plan to do it as some type of political statement. Yes, it's airing was right off the heels of the popular #OscarsSoWhite hashtag, which shed light on the lack of diversity within The Academy. But more than anything, there was simply just a lack of interest. I didn't even remember that it was airing on that particular day and time, which is quite sad considering my love for media, film, and acting. The award show used to be something I'd watch to gain motivation. It used to be something that inspired me and made me think, "Kenya, this is what you are capable of, if you just continue to dream, believe, and work hard." But is that really true? Is believing, and talent, and hard work enough--especially as a Black woman in America? The older I become, the more conscious and aware I become of societal influences and how they affect my life and those that are like me. The Oscars was no longer something I could watch for inspiration. It was a microcosm of a larger issue and a reminder of the harsh realities of life.

The more I confronted my newly found lack of interest in The Oscars, the more I also realized that maybe the feeling was mutual. Perhaps I wasn't its target demographic. Maybe it meant so little to me, because I meant so little to it/them. Sure, Chris Rock was asked to be the host, but even that couldn't make up for the fact that people of color, specifically Black women, were highly underrepresented, not just on stage, but within The Academy in general. The easy rebuttal is "well DO something about it" or "create your own award shows". And the easy answer to that is "we have been DOING something" and "we have created our own shows". Black women have fought immensely and tirelessly for equality. Black women have created "Black Girls Rock" and "Essence's Black Women in Hollywood" to honor and inspire young Black girls and women alike. All of those things are important and they matter, but it doesn't stop there. How much less are we getting paid in comparison to our counterparts? How much does having an Academy Award, or even a nomination, affect your reputation, opportunities, and pay? And how much does reputation, opportunities, and pay influence one's ability to answer the question "Name three Black female directors/producers"? Creating our own does not mean that we must stop striving to gain more access.
 
MaineDrama Productions is comprised of three Black women who all desire to one day be one of those names that come to mind when you think of Black female directors and producers. It is our hope that you assist us in utilizing the arts to make a difference. We want to create work that shines a light on taboo topics. We want to create meaningful work that challenges the status quo and educates, uplifts, empowers, inspires, and provokes conversation. But we can't get there without access. We can't get there without resources. And we can't get there without support. Although i've had to accept some of the harsh realities of life about institutional racism & sexism, power dynamics, and under-representation, I've also accepted that there is hope and a difference can be made. But we will need your help to do it. More info on how you can assist us here.

Oh, and if you're still googling Black female directors/producers, you can stop now. "Tramaine, Kenya, and Adriene" will do just fine :-)