Cuz, She's a Star!

Fulfilling a dream is…tiring.  It’s like wrestling with a bear.  You’re tangled, trying to get a good grasp, trying to get on top, and you finally pin it down.  You win.  You’ve conquered it, but you are pooped!

I’ve been wrestling with a bear for the past six years!

Being a business owner…being a woman…being a woman business owner…

Tiring.

It isn’t easy, not always fun, can be a bit lonely, make you question your intelligence, and beat you up mentally.

And I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Sounds cliché.  Yes, I know.  But I’m chasing after something I’m passionate about.  I’m chasing after something that makes me happy.  I’m chasing after something that gives me joy to do, even in the hard moments.  That’s more than a lot of people can say.  Many don’t know what their passionate about…what makes them tick…what gives them butterflies in their stomach.  Many don’t know their purpose.  And I don’t say that to put anyone down.  Everyone’s path is different.  Some may never find it.  Some may take a little bit longer than others.  I’m just grateful that I’m among the chosen few that know what it is now and am doing something about it.

As I said earlier, being a business owner isn’t easy.  There are times that I just want to give up!  Like, when it’s tax season and I have to account for every minute detail over the last year.  Even this OCD girl has her head spin at the very notion of filing taxes.  

Thank God for mom (she’s a bookkeeper and helps me with them every year)!  

Or when I have to figure out how I’m going to fund the many, many projects that I have floating around in my “this is a great idea” folder that lives in my head…and on my jump drive...and on post-its...and my journal...and scraps of paper at the bottom of my bag...

I’m faced with the question, “How do I get others excited about what I’m doing?  How do I win their buy-in?” 

Thing about this business, it’s a lot about who you know…not what.  I just need to get in front of the right people because then, they’ll see my passion. 

Doesn’t always work that way.

Try a different approach.

So, I go back to the drawing board with my team…oh, my team!  My amazing, talented, full of black girl magic team!

They are my rock and foundation (outside of Christ, of course!). 

They tell me when I’m being silly, unrealistic, too optimistic (which is rare), when I should scale back, push my boundaries…they give me balance.  I couldn’t do it without them.  No one can do it all without a village behind them (thanks Shonda for that…everyone needs a village!).

I have called them to cry, to say, “I can’t do this.”  I have passed things off to them…I have taken things from them.  They see MaineDrama with me…they see the beauty…I’ve got their buy-in.  How?

Time.

It all takes time…and I am an impatient woman.  But I see the worth in MDP.  She’s my baby.  My six year old baby.  My demanding, spoiled, very particular baby.  I’m a proud mama who thinks her kid is a star…even if you don’t.  I’m standing up, front row-center, clapping my hands off at her stellar performance (cuz, in my head it was a stellar performance and if you tried to argue with me and tell me otherwise, you might get the hands). 

But, I’m programmed to see her beauty instantaneously…with you, it may take time.  But, at least you’re taking notice.

She’s amazing…and she’ll continue to do great things because I’m part of her village.  I’m the freaking ring leader!

Everyone needs that.