Time to Change the Game

Last night I went to a gospel play. I will leave out the name and where I saw it to protect the innocent, but it was HORRIBLE! And I really tried to take off my critical cap but even then, it was really, really bad. Between the horrendous acting and the side commentary from the lady in the row behind me, my friends and I gave away two hours we will never get back.

After a few jokes and chuckles, I really contemplated what I had seen. And again, it made me angry. Most gospel plays are not done well. At all! Or these loose their original message to cater to the entertainment value for the audience. Most excuses for this lackluster approach is that as long as we get the message out, we have done the work of the Lawd! Or they feel that because they are doing it for God, they can just get up and go (with no kind of training in what they are doing). But, to me, because it is in His name that is exactly why your best foot should be put forward. This play had a powerful message, but for many, I'm sure it was diluted or lost because of the lack of excellence in the execution.

This is one of the main reasons why I really want to get into the Gospel arena and change the game. Christianity isn't wack and neither should the acting that goes on stage. Everything done in excellence. This is something that has been ingrained in me and just won't go away. I refuse to let my production(s) go on stage and it not be done with excellence.

SCREAMING

I wrote "Count it all Joy" back in 2005. I tried to produce it but to no avail. Something always got in the way and prevented me from going all the way. Whether it was people or just my laziness, it wouldn't happen. Funny, I was lazy about producing a passion and dream of mine. Says a lot, doesn't it? Guess that just wasn't the time for me to do it. And I would rather it be in perfect timing. Then I left for school, so I had no choice but to put the production on hold.

Now that I've moved back home, I was driven more than ever to get this done. I said, "Ok Tramaine, this time, no excuses. You have nothing that's keeping you from doing this but you." And yes, there is no one keeping me from doing this but me, but along the way other people get in the way as well. Now, I preface this by saying that I am not bashing anyone, but there have been many times when I just wanted to SCREAM!!!! But when you are working on other people's time, and things are going as quickly as you would like, it's frustrating. And, can I really get upset when they are helping me out? No, but that still doesn't keep my inner soul from wanting to belt out.

On August 15th, I had a Reading Party for my play. I invited a select group of individuals to come out and read through my play, acting out the characters. At the end of the reading, everyone would write down any constructive criticisms that they may have so that I could go back and make the play even better. Leading up to this day, getting the room was no easy feat. Pricing and getting the food for the event wasn't either. The day of the event I went to get the food, get all the materials together, pick up someone, and get to College Park within two hours. Needless to say, some arguments were had that morning. The Party was a success, but afterwards things just seemed to slow down, tremendously. I've been trying to solidify a venue since the week after the reading. For a month, I've been waiting to hear back from someone. Once again, I am grateful for this opportunity because, if they agree, I can get a venue, sound, light, crew for free. What a blessing. But my impatient self is like, "IT'S BEEN A MONTH. WHAT'S THE WORD DUDE?!"

It's been a slow process and I would love to see things move more quickly. But things don't always just fall into place and I'm learning that. Plus, my patience is always being tested and what better process to learn it in, right? (Please note the hint of sarcasm, lol.) I'm grateful for this process and I know I have to learn as I go, but that still doesn't stop me from wanting to just SCREAM at times!

Lost

I wrote this piece a couple of days ago. Was going through the emotional motions. Ever since moving back from Pittsburgh and trying to figure out this whole "doing what I was created to do thing", I've hit a lot of bumps in the road. I guess that comes with the territory. How does the saying go, "Anything worth doing never comes easy", or something like that. I question God a lot. Don't get me wrong, I never think that what He does is wrong, but I also don't think that He gets upset with us to ask questions. And I've been doing a lot of that since moving back. Questioning my move. Questioning what the next step should be. Questioning if I'm making the right decisions, heading in the right direction. Just asking a lot of questions to the point that I feel like a real scater-brained at times. So I wrote this piece to sum up some of my feelings. I posted it on Facebook but wanted to share it here as well.

Lost

Lost...
I'm lost in a place that I used to know so well.
Thought I had every turn and corner memorized.
Figured I had every face burned and etched into my memory.
But familiar became predictable,
And predictable became boring.

So off I went.
Venturing into new lands.
Distant quarters.
Running away from it to only be lost again.
Lost...
In new territory, trying to figure it all out.
Those new turns and corners.
New faces.
Myself.

But time ran out and, while lessons were learned,
I returned to the familiar.
Ready to embrace what I missed.
What I once was so ready to escape.
But I returned to see that it's not so familiar anymore.
Did it change or did I?
So I sit in familiar even more lost than I was before.
No directions.
No help.
No aide.
Lost...

Does this make sense at all?
I ran from lost into lost only to return.
Am I picking up too soon?
Not settling long enough?
Not sitting still?
What decisions should I make?
You see all of the questions that I have?

Don't I seem just a bit lost?

Doing the right thing?

So I've been pulled into the blogging world. Didn't happen out of being a follower, but wanting to find new territory to express my process. I never was into blogs but then it seemed as though all of my friends began blogging about their lives or just randomness. And as I read each of their blogs, I was pulled into their world, even if just for the few minutes that it took me to read their post. So I decided to join the bandwagon. Use this as an opportunity to talk about my process as I try to fulfill my dream.

Starting a production company came to me a couple of years ago. I had been all over the place about what I wanted to do with my life. I always joke that I have ADD with my lifetime goals. But my rationale is, Why Not? If I can do it and had the vision to do it, then let's go! In the end, my love would be to produce out-of-the-box plays and have a venue where I can produce all the plays that are birthed in me. With this I've begun the process.

I wrote my first play in 2005 and now I am in the beginning stages of producing it. Exciting, yet scary at the same time. It looks like it may be up and running in July 2010. Be on the look out and in the process, be ready to hear my journey and frustration that I will go through as I experience it. MaineDrama in the making....am I doing the right thing?