Lost

I wrote this piece a couple of days ago. Was going through the emotional motions. Ever since moving back from Pittsburgh and trying to figure out this whole "doing what I was created to do thing", I've hit a lot of bumps in the road. I guess that comes with the territory. How does the saying go, "Anything worth doing never comes easy", or something like that. I question God a lot. Don't get me wrong, I never think that what He does is wrong, but I also don't think that He gets upset with us to ask questions. And I've been doing a lot of that since moving back. Questioning my move. Questioning what the next step should be. Questioning if I'm making the right decisions, heading in the right direction. Just asking a lot of questions to the point that I feel like a real scater-brained at times. So I wrote this piece to sum up some of my feelings. I posted it on Facebook but wanted to share it here as well.

Lost

Lost...
I'm lost in a place that I used to know so well.
Thought I had every turn and corner memorized.
Figured I had every face burned and etched into my memory.
But familiar became predictable,
And predictable became boring.

So off I went.
Venturing into new lands.
Distant quarters.
Running away from it to only be lost again.
Lost...
In new territory, trying to figure it all out.
Those new turns and corners.
New faces.
Myself.

But time ran out and, while lessons were learned,
I returned to the familiar.
Ready to embrace what I missed.
What I once was so ready to escape.
But I returned to see that it's not so familiar anymore.
Did it change or did I?
So I sit in familiar even more lost than I was before.
No directions.
No help.
No aide.
Lost...

Does this make sense at all?
I ran from lost into lost only to return.
Am I picking up too soon?
Not settling long enough?
Not sitting still?
What decisions should I make?
You see all of the questions that I have?

Don't I seem just a bit lost?