Blindfolded

Wrote this piece to get something off my chest about an important relationship, or lack thereof, in my life. This is my therapy...

Blindfolded, gagged and bound
Dazed, confused, and lost
Held captive in this hallow place
No escape route or savior in sight.
Not sure what got me here.
Not moving because of my fear.

Sitting here scared and bewildered
I question how I let this happen.
To let my captor come in,
To trust so easily and let down my guard.
I put up no fight,
Assuming that this familiar face would do me right.

Always present,
Feeding me lies masked as promises.
Desperate for this love,
Life continues as if on repeat.
Now my hopelessness is buried deep inside,
Surface level, tough exterior to mask my pride.

On the interior I cry out for your attention.
Puzzled how you cannot hear nor understand.
Someone that deserves your undivided observation,
But one minute from you is hard to obtain.
So further and further this wall I built,
Not one bit of hesitation, not one ounce of guilt.

Content I became with the decisions I made.
Feeling as though I had some control.
Moments passed by when weakness crept in.
Quickly I shook them off and my façade I regained.
Comfort and notions of acceptance,
A lifestyle that I believe I deserved as penance.

So when my captor showed up at my door,
For a moment I forgot what I had built so high.
Thinking that this was the moment of true redemption.
That I would gain what I desired and justly deserved.
But my hopes were dashed as I was taken captive,
Dreams destroyed and a future that looks negative.

In that weak moment, my captor got the best of me.
By the time I tried to fight back, I had no handle.
My grip had slipped and I was overpowered.
Taken down and knocked out from the fall,
I lay there lifeless, ready to give in;
Everything goes dark and the torture begins.

Maybe this is what I am worthy of.
My justice or someone’s warranted revenge.
While my initial reaction is to struggle and react,
Part of me wonders what’s the point?
This is a place that, in a way, seems like common ground,
And I feel that this trip is not my final round.

Blindfolded, gagged and bound
Dazed, confused, and lost
Held captive in this hallow place
No escape route or savior in sight.
Not sure what got me here.
Not moving because of my fear.

On to the next one

The auditions were tonight and they went well. We still have some hurdles to overcome but I am confident that everything will work out. It's funny because whenever you are moving towards accomplishing a goal or moving in the direction that you want, everything in the universe comes against you to stop it. This week has been exactly that for me. Let's recap...shall we.

Monday: Work was nothing but a big stress out. I am trying to solve this issue at my job and just can't seem to find a solution for it.

Wednesday: I had a little tiff in my house within myself. I restrained myself from doing what I really wanted to do...praise God. But I was really about to go IN and on someone. I'll leave it at that.

But the topper of them all came on Thursday. I went to the future location of the play to take care of some business. While there I had a chat with someone. The conversation went something like this:

Reliable Source: So the discussion of your play came up in a meeting yesterday. Mr. Big-Wig asked if Rescuer and Stop-shorts read the play. Rescuer was upfront and honest, said that they read a couple of pages but not the whole thing. However, Stop-shorts said, with real authority, "the issue with this play is that no one gets saved at the end."

Me: Are you freaking kidding me?! That alone tells me that Stop-shorts DID NOT read this play. If Stop-shorts read it, they would have seen that everyone in this play is already saved. This isn't a salvation play. This play is about a family struggling with their faith through adversity. They find resolve at the end of the play.

Reliable Source: Well, that is what was said and Mr. Big-Wig was like, Rescuer and Stop-shorts, you all handle/fix it.

Me: I'm just baffled that someone could not read the play and then sit there and say such a bold-face lie!

Reliable Source: Well, what you need to do is just cover your bases. Give me a copy of the script with a brief synopsis. It'll be fine.

I am so grateful that I was able to find this out and just do what I needed to ensure that all the ducks remain in a row. Whenever you are doing what you are supposed to, people/situations/circumstances, would love to see you not make it there. But I was definitely about to CATCH A CASE. I think I was upset because I took that as a real offense! But, que sera sera.

On to the next one...

The Anxieties!

Things have been moving along well and I couldn't be more excited about it. But the closer and closer I move towards realizing a dream of mine, the more and more I think of failure and falling short.

This play is just a small piece of the larger puzzle. This play begins the journey that I will embark to start something that sparked in me a few short years ago. To see how an idea of mine spawned into this elaborate detail brings delight to my spirit. I remember wondering how I wanted to do this, the different motions that my ideas went through, sitting in Silver Diner with three friends discussing how we would come together to make it happen. Now the time has approached. Everything that I have experienced between now and then has been preparation for this. Doesn't that seem a little nerve-wrecking?



I embrace each challenge, even though I may complain through it. I look forward to the next journey. But as the dream grows and I take one step closer towards it, there are more obstacles that appear. I can't help but to have the questions of "what if I fail?" or "what if this isn't exactly how I'm suppose to do it?" or "what if I'm just wasting my time?"

For that last one, I know I'm not wasting time. I was created to do this. I was born to do this. If I wasn't pursuing this then I would be living a meaningless life, and then there would be no point in existing. So I ask that you continue to keep me in your thoughts, keep encouraging me, keep pushing me along. Whenever you are pursuing your dreams wholeheartedly, the anxieties are mounting!

Auditions!

Too ecstatic! The audition date is set and we are a go! Check out the flier!

And The Winner Is...

Stephanie Brackins!!!!


Thank you to all who participated and sent me their ideas for the One-Liner Contest.

Stephanie gave me a line that I thought really captured the idea I was going for with MaineDrama Productions.

So thank you again everyone and Stephanie...your prize is soon to come! Yes, there is a prize for you.

MaineDrama Productions: Mainstream without Compromise

The One-Liner Contest

Ok you guys, I need your help. Things are moving along quite nicely and I am really excited about that one. The venue locked. Logo done. Business cards, soon to be. All the moving parts are moving.

Here's the thing, I need a slogan. A one liner. A phrase that captivates what MaineDrama Productions is all about. I envision this company to be something that is cutting edge, out-of-the-box, transcendent. Not your cliche plays but something that touches all people, all issues, at any level. Now, how do I say that in one line, lol?

I need your help. Post, facebook me, email me, twitter it, anything. I hope to have something by Friday.

And to the person that gets their one-liner picked...you will have my deepest gratitude, admiration and respect. I'll even shout you out at the premiere of the play (come on, I'm just starting out, were you expecting cash? lol).

Let the one-liners begin!

Unexpected Surprises

Too excited! I got a venue! Things were looking a bit grim there for a second and I didn't know where I was going to go or how I was going to get the money to do it. I didn't stop trusting that something was going to work out but I sure didn't know how it was going to happen.

Today I had a meeting and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Here is a copy of the script and I need to set up a meeting with Mr. Plan B so that I can make this happen.

Rescuer: Mr. Plan B is going to charge you way too much money. Just have it here.

Me: I tried to go down that route and it was a fail.

Rescuer: Well, Mr. Big Wig told me about it and you have my full support, so let's do it. We can have it at this location. No money will come out of your pocket. We just got new lighting. When do you want to do it?

Me: I'm looking at July.

Rescuer: Oh, we can definitely do that. Ok, just start doing what you need to on your end. Venue is yours.

Can we say HALLELUJAH!!!!!! I'm so completely grateful for the unexpected surprises. Now that I have been blessed with this, I need to make sure that I use it well. On to the next steps in this process. Auditions, here we come.